I am 48 years old. I have worked to lose weight a couple times in my life. This is the fifth time to be exact. The first time I was young and it just came off drinking milk as snacks! lol. The second time I went on a stringent diet to get down to 125 pounds. It would always blow my mind when I’d hear stories about other girls being 110 pounds. I wondered HOW does their body support that? I am trim at 135 pounds, and I am totally okay with me between 135 – 145 pounds. But that idea in my head that number stuck with me. I didn’t get how my frame was so much bigger? Anyway the other time was in my late thirties I decided I was done and wanted better. And I gained it all back when I fell apart. Honestly I didn’t struggle with this stuff until after I had my daughter and I was selling my house. It was stress. I was alone. And I just fell apart I guess. In the past starting the engine one weight loss was not easy not because my body is resistant like I always think it is. Because you don’t realize what it is that you need to achieve weight loss and that you will be hungry because that’s how it works. But the crazy part to me is the amount of calories I need for maintenance isn’t very much! And its NO wonder I gain when I am not watching all this stuff. So with that said, I was really surprised how fast I hit a plateau when I started. But it was … enlightening… typically when you hit the plateau later you will give up thinking its all you got. I was like 6 pounds on a 20 – 30 goal is NOTHING. I am not giving up. And I also know that if I give up then I will just be resigning to being over weight with high blood pressure and I don’t want that life. I might not be able to move how I used to but I should be able to make these choices that are better for health.

What kick started my plateau?

It was weird I was trying to stay with in my range and I thought well maybe I am not being as accurate as I thought, and well I kind of wasn’t. I was going about 1200-1400 calories a day thinking that there was burn calories in there. But even as I tightened it up; I still wasn’t seeing it. Having a goal of 1 pound of week has been going ok until the plateau. So I decided to cut out my morning shakeology which I have had for breakfast for YEARS. There is a girl I follow on fb who sells this stuff and its not even that I like it for “weight loss” but I love how it tastes. I’d have the vegan chocolate with banana, almond milk, and pb fit. Without fail. I decided it was time to try to cut it out and swap it for a regular breakfast. And the next day my body thanked me. Maybe I can get to 161 for next Monday, I hope so!! I will keep at it and hope that I removed my blocker.

Yes, my day is coming to a close I am still celebrating that 1 pound drop under my plateau. This brings me to a 7 pound weight loss so far!! I have 17 – 22 pounds left to lose! I wore a pair of jeans this weekend and they fit better! They were still tight in some areas but after walking and wearing them they were loose. So I applied for a job today that I really want. I know I’d be awesome on this team but I had two strikes and I have a feeling that they will throw my info directly into the trash. I am hoping that I will be considered but I’d be SHOCKED if I was. I blew it hardcore last time. And for good reason but sometimes that doesn’t matter. It has been 11 months since the incident. I hope that I presented myself well enough; if I could beg I would.

For almost three weeks I have been struggling to lose a pound. I was at 163 and I thought I found the secret and weight was coming off it I followed this pattern. I was wrong, it stopped. I think there was a chance I wasn’t hitting close enough to my calories. Or maybe one thing that I am intaking has inaccurate calories? Since I have noticed that shakeology (though I love it) gives me gas, I decided to nix it for my breakfast. It is legit my favorite breakfast. And when I did that, it changed the scale. I am going to try a week doing what I am doing with no shake, even though I love it as my breakfast. To see if there is a difference in weight coming off. It could just be that there is something in that gives me a reaction or causes inflammation or bloating. I might make it a once or twice or week thing, see if I notice that change being helpful? But first week no shake. And guess what 162.4! That was hard won!!! I had options to go for dinner this weekend and I opted not to because I was working so hard to get down to that.

I want to create a different life for myself.

So Yes I am still clinging on to 163. This has been the hardest weight loss ever. Today I decided to ditch my shakeo. I was thinking maybe there is something in it that I am having a reaction to? I have been drinking it forever. And I love it. But I don’t mind if that was my blocker! I can find something else to eat. I just want to solve what is causing this. I feel like I am so clean eating and focused. I also switched my dessert to be dark chocolate. I used to have it all the time and I loved it but go sick of it. So lets see if it helps. I have a feeling it won’t. I didn’t get step in today but I hope to when we return

So this was my first day starting with additional fitness. I did step for 30 minutes and I walked. It wasn’t too bad. I am hoping that this extra will help. I have never really lost weight without diet and exercise changes before. When I was younger I worked 7 days a week for years. Since I have had my daughter, past 14 years I haven’t really done much. I worked out for a few years and I try here and there but I have been really not that strict with how much I do. I really have this vision of being strong and fit. I am going to keep doing this and hopefully the scale will start to move again. I think my body quickly adjusted to the walking because its not cardio. Everything I have been reading recently slams cardio when you get older and I don’t buy it. Like oh it’s too much stress on the body. Just lift weights. I have been walking and lifting and it hasn’t really been that successful. So back to cardio. I started with the 4 inch riser. I am hoping that will be enough to get a jump in my fitness. Here’s to tomorrow seeing 162 or maybe Monday??? Hopefully.

So the scale is still stuck at 163. My goal is absolutely to get to 162 for Monday weigh in. I’ve decided on the my three day weekends I will get my normal walk in and do cardio. During the week I will do weights. So MAYBE THAT WILL kick the weight loss into gear. Ok, I am looking at what I was eating during that two week period where I was steadily seeing weight loss and I was doing great. I am not doing bad now its just a different combination of foods. So I am going to run to the store and get some helpful items. 🙂 I think I know how to kickstart this. I have a big todo list today. I can do it though.

So it’s funny even though the scale hasn’t moved in this past two weeks I feel trimmer. I know I am not though. LOL. But that’s good. Feeling like I am working thing makes me happier. And I have a feeling this is more positive in terms of my body processing.

It’s been two weeks that I have been stagnate but still working at this which is strange to me. I guess my calories are hovering too high and my body loves being fat. I want to be at 1150 but I do let it slide and come in around 1200 – 1400. The part that amazes me as that is apparently maintenance level of food. LOL. So I am going to try to switch things up and hit that mark. The thing that annoys me is I love having a smoothie for breakfast. Like LOVE it. It’s a lot of calories compared to my other meals. With that said, if I have eggs or even pancakes it’s less calories for breakfast. Maybe I need to save on that side to be able make other parts meet. It’s unfortunate because I love having it. I will try to put my day together now and calculate it all see if I am right. Otherwise I do feel better about the changes I have made. And here is the thing; yes I am feeling frustration and time lost but to what? I could be 6 pounds heavier or even 12 pounds. Instead I have lost 6 pounds and I am working on this. So I am keeping my eye on the ball.

So I created a day of foods and made it just at my mark even getting take out. I kept my shake in there too. But I did some things. I removed the cheese from my sandwich I ordered for take out. And I didn’t add butter to my egg that I will be having for lunch. I actually thing I can add that back in based on my calories. If I still am not losing then something ain’t right. lol. I am going to measure today when I make my smoothie instead of eyeballing it.

So I have a meeting today and it’s important but my anxiety is here wondering if I should bother. Saying don’t bother you won’t get it. lol. It’s my only hope at this point so I am showing up.

I am being spot on with my food and dietary choices. I am lost as to why I am stuck. I know what will fix this. A little less calories. I am amazed though, that I could be tight on my diet and not see any movement. I am averaging around 1200-1400 calories per a day. I am supposed to be at 1154 for weight loss. I do get exercise but apparently not enough. I need to make adjustments. This week I bought a box of chocolates, and they have been amazing. I have been eating three for dessert. Apparently, not my friend. I am going in for the kill today and remainder of the week. And I am removing dessert in the sense of sugary eats. I will have a sugar free treat or the protein muffins. And hopefully I will see some results.

And I have been fasting for 12-15 hours a day. I was hoping it would wake up my metabolism and nada. LOL. So today no chocolates. And hopefully tomorrow will be the big day that it starts moving again. I had hoped to see a 10 lb loss in two months but I guess that goal was too much. I am not giving up though. I am going for a long walk today though.

It started with disappointment. Why? First off Monday at my job is always a flaming pile of trash. Secondly, I didn’t hit my goal. Two weeks stagnant at 163. Weight loss this time is even harder than any other time. The scale is not moving fast and my body hurts. I was feeling totally defeated by my job and I have no clue how to do any of it. And I hate it. Its not stuff thats cool or fun. Its all coordination and shit. Who likes this crap? Anyway whatever, I suck and I always have. I’ve always had that certain level of incompetence or fear that held me back. Always. And I took this horrible job with a massive paycut out of fear. And its terrible. Ok so failing I am. So I spent the day in the blackhole of sadness. I didn’t eat a ton of calories over but I did eat over my weight loss amount and hopefully I am not at 164 tomorrow because of it. I actually was questioning if I should both dieting and exercising a my day spiralled downhill. I don’t know how to correct the job situation and i feel like I am barely hanging on. I’ve burned so many bridges. Ok so whatever here I am. Hoping things will work out. I am drinking my water and trying to relax the rest of the evening.

How can you just start out and hit a plateau after losing only 6 pounds! I am not going to give up I am just annoyed that I didn’t hit my goal for this week and I weighed in at 163.4. I had an english muffin for lunch. I had chicken with squash and broccoli for dinner. And..I am up? I don’t get it. I have been really focused in my efforts. I was hoping the fast would help too and its not really proving to be help. I mean I guess it is somewhat as I have realized I am totally ok if I don’t eat after 6pm! So I guess I don’t need to be so stringent with the front side since I am doing the same calories ? I think that is the biggest part of weight loss is not eating at night time. I don’t really understand though. Maybe my body is just wanting to be fat. I will keep at it. I did eat chocolates the past two nights for dessert but totally in my calorie budget. Maybe if I only allow myself two instead of three. Maybe go back to my oat muffins and put the chocolates away for a special occasion? I don’t know. I’ll try two tonight instead. Time for tea and to get my life on task.