And I am up 10 pounds

Ever since last November I have been off the rails struggling and it has steadily gotten worse. I am in such a dark place with work and homelife being stressful. It’s all one place. I started a new job in April. I had another family member move into my already small home. I am not happy at all with my life decisions. The job I started is not my tech skill set at all and I am pretty much lost. And I am miserable with this change. This morning I decided to find out my weight after I put on my sports bra and felt like I put on a corset and there it was 10 of my 20 pounds I worked so hard to lose last year. Here I am, despite feeling like I want to crawl under a rock attempting to show up for my health. I am 46 years old, soon to be 47. It’s all that I have left in this short life. So today is the first day of this and I will take some steps. I am here to attempt to get back on track and I will do measurements as well.

A few days ago, I speculated I was 165, thinking it was an over and estimate and I’d weigh myself when I was ready. Again, I go back to this, I always fall off track when I stop weighing myself but really it was more the stress. I will try to not weigh in daily but to get back on track and weigh in again next week?? I don’t know I am such a strong advocate on the daily weigh in. I have lost what type of foods work best for a calorie deficit.


By the way the guy who always disappears, faded away for more than his two-four-week stint and it was about 4 months. I decided to check out some stuff online and found he went to a dress up event with ex during that time frame. I am all done with this.

How to UNPROCESS your diet 

My stress eating started last November. It has been a ramping up and slow process of eating junk food progressively. It starts with a fast-food sandwich, moves to ritz crackers, pringles, and chips! The real question is, are these items even okay in moderation? We always say they are when we discuss dietary changes for weight loss, but have you seen the chemical list in the food product you are eating?  

Let us look at Pringles,  



I get that it is a pringle, and not even a real “chip,” but really… I also find it interesting that the scent that pringles have is like the set that cheez-its have, I want to see the ingredient comparison: 


Enriched flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, vitamin B1 [thiamin mononitrate], vitamin B2 [riboflavin], folic acid), vegetable oil (high oleic soybean, soybean, palm, and/or canola oil with TBHQ for freshness), cheese made with skim milk (skim milk, whey protein, salt, cheese cultures, enzymes, annatto extract color).Contains 2% or less of salt, paprika, yeast, paprika extract color, soy lecithin. 

Where am I going with this? Well jeez, look at the crap I have been eating. I mean if you are a part of the diet industry wouldn’t you collaborate with the a company like this to put ingredients that intentionally are fattening, addictive, and cause or inhibit weight loss / control? We have no idea the long term / or side effects of this stuff nor do we even know if we have accurate information. Have you ever seen the information about how the “studies” come so rapidly that peer review takes a long time? It’s kind of like news that is not accurate. 

So here I am in my processed food altered state. Yesterday, I tried to make more healthful choices. Its interesting how the chemical stuff doesn’t taste great but we get into a mode of wanting it all the time. Why?