Why I dumped decaf coffee

I love coffee. Regular coffee. Decaf coffee. I am addicted to it either way! I quit drinking regular coffee about a year ago and decided to integrate decaf into my diet last September. Since then, I have gained 12 pounds but what are the other unexpected health issues associated with decaf coffee? Apparently, it may cause heart problems but also, that it is processed with chemicals to remove the caffeine that are carcinogenic! It also may cause rheumatoid arthritis! But here is the one I have been noticing, it caused acidity in my stomach. It was probably a combination of things stress and decaf but I was to the point where the regurgitation was so bad I wasn’t able to eat. So here I am walking away from decaf coffee. I feel good about the decision. I have been noticing some other side effects of the withdrawal, that include back pain and hip pain. No kidding. So now I am trying to get my diet back on track and lose weight. I want to lose 30 lbs. Here I am ….

What is it about coffee that makes me…

This is the weirdest thing in the world and I have mentioned this before about regular coffee but here I am to say the same about decaf coffee. When I quit regular coffee I notice this change after the horrible withdrawal side effects faded. It makes me more impulsive and out of control. It’s the weirdest thing and I bet I am the only person to come up with this lol. I notice the same is true with decaf. It’s whatever chemical is in this stuff makes it so maybe I am more tired and less likely to fight it? But I gain weight when drinking both regular and decaf coffee. It’s like I don’t care or something. As the day goes on I eat more and care less. Perhaps my brain is more tired from the coffee. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

I am happy to be away from the caffeine because I noticed now when I drink it I totally crash. But I am addicted to even the decaf when I drink it has to be two cups. The more I have the more I want. I don’t experience the withdrawals I have when I stop regular coffee.

So here I am to quit decaf too. I am sad as I love it but it’s like I go off the rails. My weight is almost up to 170lbs.

Decaf OCD

Last year I stopped drinking coffee and it was the best choice I had made. I noticed I was able to regain focus and get my life together. I lost weight and got on track. The around September I started craving coffee again. I decided to introduce decaf. So I don’t know if its just my super addictive nature or me and coffee. But I felt just as addicted to decaf as regular coffee. It was like a weird obsession and whats more strange is the impulsiveness that comes with drinking regular coffee returned but I was just like oh I am not ready to stop this binge yet. I am not kidding. This past week I started to experience acid reflux. I decided to investigate if there was any correlation between it and the decaf and there was some other findings. I decided to stop drinking it. I switched to herbal tea starting today. I also go on the scale. I feel sad about the number but I have been stress eating and lifting weights. And I am a huge 169 lbs. I can not believe how fast I have been gaining weight. I counted calories today and I did okay for my first day back on the wagon. So here I am stepping off the decaf OCD.

Some decaf side effects, ruining your stomache lining, rotting your teeth, depleting your iron levels, and slowing weight loss.

Day 1

I am back trying to get my diet and health under control. I am trying a new path and I know I won’t see results fast. I am counting calories and including stuff I really enjoy. Trying to get up and do more. I know the scale won’t move much. I want to long term lost 24 pounds. 34 would be ideal but I haven’t seen that weight for about 15 years. So here I am feeling pretty good. I had some crappy choices today but I don’t care! I ate portion sized and didn’t go nuts. I am full. My day is coming to a close.

Last August I injured my knee and it still hurts. I have been trying to stretch and do exercises to improve range of motion and hopefully decrease pain eventually. I started back with doing step. I am keeping a calendar. I am taking the workouts slow and careful. And not doing over 15 minutes yet. So I feel pretty good about it. Back to the grind now.

Favorite pants

I bought a pair of camo cargo pants a few years ago and they were on the tight side, then I gained weight, and they didn’t fit anymore. I lost weight and they fit me amazingly for a hot second. The past five years have been hard, because life is like that. Today I decided to try to fit into the pants. I could not get them over my butt. I am aware that I am at a weight that I don’t want to be at. I am aware that I want to lose weight. But I have been wearing exercise pants for about three years and my weight has steadily increased. Everyday I wear them with the intention of working out and instead they are my eating pants? LOL. Seriously, I had weighed myself at the start of last week and started to put my weight and fitness on the front burner.

Today we went to the playground and I climbed on some of the equipment and realized how frail and unfit I am. I lack balance due to inner ear issues, but I am not getting any younger. This fragile state is only going to get worse. So with that said my fitness and my pants fitting is a goal for me. For the next six months I plan on working getting myself into better shape and trim down. The goal would be to fit into the favorite pants but to lose twenty pounds would also be nice but what if losing weight was yes a goal but the primary goal is fitness with a side of yes I will lose weight but fitness. So today is the day I will do step right now. Yes it’s 8 and I feel like I might have a cold coming on but I am diving into both sides.

Weigh in: 164 lbs.

Goal: 140 lbs.


In an attempt to clear my depression fog and get back on track with fitness by taking it slow and ease into regular exercise. I started yesterday with doing just a small amount. I did this last time I was able to get on track. I am starting with a simple twenty-minute workout of walking on the treadmill. I am still feeling miserable but at least I have done something towards a goal that is important to me. Taking small steps.

Spring is here

I started to get back on track yesterday. It’s always a process of rebuilding those healthier habits. I decided to take today off from work because last week was a challenge and the upcoming week will be all meetings. I am debating if I will show up for a meeting at 11AM. So it’s spring and my mind is awake after a long hard winter. I started a design class, just like I wanted. I am trying to refocus my efforts on weight loss. That is important to me, but one thing that is really important that I have lacked on is fitness. I have been in such a depressed state the past year or so. I have been slowly trying to integrate fitness back in. I dislike working 10 hour days, it sucks it right out of me. I suppose I am adjusting to it. Am I terrible that I’d rather take a pay loss and work 32 hours.

up 10 pounds

About a month ago I had decided to cut out dessert and sweets. I wanted to see what a difference it would make on me. The first few days I noticed the scale went down and I had a headache. Then I started feeling more hungry. I wanted to eat more in other areas. It could have been a psychological thing but I started gaining. A girl I follow on youtube has talked about this, when she denied herself too much she’d want to eat more. So I lasted about two weeks. And I really don’t know how or why but somehow during this time frame I gained back the official ten pounds I had lost last year. I am back up at 164 lbs.

I want to start by saying, I care and I want to lose it but I am also at a better place. There are a few reasons why. I have had a few things happen in the past two weeks that have awakened my mindset. In 2003, I went through a cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) program that changed my life. I suffered from anxiety and depression and struggled to hold a job. After this program I changed my life. I have struggled through the years still with it. But after leaving a long time job I had floundered for years. The past four years have been so hard on me. And my state of mind has really diminished due to this. I have been struggling. A chatted with a friend and she noted to me that I was in such a negative self mindset. And a light came on. I have been. And I am not perfect by any stretch but she made me realize that I can pray and read the bible but how I talk to myself is damaging my whole life. It was that day I decide to refocus my efforts on cbt and finding joy. I picked up a book called Renew by Julie Winter and started working on finding joy. I don’t need to punish myself because I think I am not doing enough or not good enough. That will only give me misery.

So then I stumbled on noom again. I have written a few reviews about noom and I still feel similiarly about the program but I also believe sometimes we need help. Sometimes a guide in life can help us get on track and refocus our efforts. Noom has updated the program since when I tried it the first time back in 2019. One of the things I loved about the program initially was that it was very positive. I have decided to try this option again and work on positive psychology paired with faith. After I found this I stumbled on a video that also was enlightening. A gentleman was speaking about the importance of prayer and not being gluttonous as a christian. I am sure there are readers who are not believers I wasn’t until the past couple years but I am a believer now and it never occurred to me to pray before a meal. To slow down and be mindful of what God has given us and pray on the meal. This was a big slap in the face. So it’s interesting to me how things happen, that I was feeling so much self hate over my body and weight and God brought me the tools to help with that and my new job.

Off the rails

I started new job. The stress is high while learning a new job. I was thinking about how high my weight is and how when I fall off the wagon there are some specific things I do:

  • I do not weigh myself
  • I eat fast
  • I snack often with reckless abandon
  • I figure it doesn’t matter because I already ate this or that

So I have some things I want to try. I have the next four days off. I want to try waking early, drinking water and exercising all four days. I want to try fasting until 11 and having a shake. Can I do it? I hope so. I want to have a piece of meat and veggies for dinner and yes I want to have dessert. This seems sustainable when I consider it.

Sugar free me

Ok, not really but I am trying! I am on day 5 of no dessert or candy. I have been trying to have more protein instead. The scale has moved down a pound but I also got better sleep. I can not express enough how valuable sleep is to your body, especially as you age. It blows my mind and it also reflects on the scale.

I am feeling clearer this morning too, it could be psychological but here it is. Of course I have been immersing myself in articles about how bad sugar is and how to break this habit. One of the things they talk about is how their skin looks so much better without it, so I am looking forward to letting you know if that is true.