When I started this journey I made a couple changes and I thought I’d easily lose weight because I had been so lazy and eating so poorly. I figured any change would make me lose weight in the beginning. I was wrong.
The hard part and the secret to losing weight is that its going to take a long time. This is why you always hear the words, LIFE STYLE CHANGE.
It’s not impossible to do, I assure you. I am far from perfect and I still haven’t lost all my weight. I am down 12 pounds from where I started and I still have another 22 pounds to go. My goal is to make it there because, if I am not doing this I am doing that other thing that makes me very unhappy. That thing where I get instant gratification of eating whatever I want, whenever I want but at the end of the day I feel fat and out of shape and unhealthy (BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I AM WHEN I EAT “INTUITIVELY”).
The secret for me is eating at a calorie deficit, which does make you hungrier but eating foods I enjoy that are low calorie and high volume. You will be surprised by the options that exist when you shop and eat more creatively. And the secret is also consistency. As much as we want it to happen overnight, it just doesn’t. I know it feels like you woke up fat and out of shape but you didn’t. It probably took you years to get there. Take this one day at a time. Be kind and loving to yourself.
The weight I started at was the highest I have ever weighed while not being pregnant! So yes I am down 12 pounds but I still have about 22 more to go. Last night I was wondering why I am doing all this! I kid you not there are days when I question if I should bother. Do other people feel this way when they are trying to be healthier and lose weight? I don’t want to give up because I love myself and these thoughts are typically at the end of the day. I wonder why I am bothering and I think its the end of the day just relax tomorrow is a new beginning. And here I am at tomorrow feeling good again.
I really can’t believe I have lost 12 pounds and how much more I still have! It’s much slower than I imagined but again my favorite saying is if I wasn’t doing this where would I be? 12 pounds up from 174!!? 186??
Like the diet industry I also believe the mental health system is broken, its all tied together right. Your diet and brain / body connection. Garbage in, garbage out! I was born with anxiety but honestly I wonder if other things causes these brain issues, like chemicals, medications, and/or environment. It could of been my scenario at home, or what other factors change your mind and create anxiety?
Anyway, the psychology industry is sadly similar to the diet industry. Wonder which section has more books at the bookstore: Diet or Self-help? We have so much information out there and so much advice, but worse is when you go to your doctor. The doctor wants to readily prescribe antidepressants and send you to a therapist. The therapist will run you between $50 – $120 for their time (and that is out of pocket, what does the insurance cover?). While a 90 day supply of Prozac (mind altering medication) will cost $4. Personally, I already know I’d rather not take medication for anxiety. I want to break out and define to you what I experienced and how I work to overcome it.
I have never experienced a panic attack. I was always high-strung and nervous, in particular when doing anything new. When I was little I wanted to be the best. I didn’t want to finish last. If I wasn’t great and other kids made fun of me (which they did), I’d give up and not try. Gym class was a nightmare because of that. I didn’t give my full effort because I was bullied and made fun of, probably because of my hesitancy. I was tripped in the halls and shoved. This was in elementary school. You get used to it. But it alters how you interact with other. I feared asking questions, I feared using the restroom, I feared not understanding and my favorite was when topics were discussed they’d ask your opinion and I had none. I never had an opinion and I couldn’t understand how others did. I’d take the opinions of others, if they were popular. Because I was afraid. My voice shook when I spoke. It honestly took me many years of realizing I was okay by doing small things. When I say I feared, I didn’t do a lot of these things. I’d get on the school bus everyday in fear. I’d struggle to raise my hand to use the bathroom and if I got the nerve up and went if someone was in the bathroom I couldn’t use it. I almost peed my pants because of it. And I still struggle with this and I am 46. I still go to a meeting and have no input unless I am heavily prepared and very actively listening. It’s easy for me to disengage and think I don’t get this and say nothing. I also get overwhelmed by things are very technical and I panic!
After I graduated high school I went through tons of jobs struggling with anxiety and fear. I wanted more for myself but didn’t know how to achieve it. After suffering through a very crappy situation it gave me perspective on things. And I realized how silly some of my fears were and I realized I was able to do things beyond the little box I set myself in. That I was better than that but that it was better than what I created in my mind. When I started to doing cognitive behavioral therapy I also realized how negative I was being, and how stuck in my own thoughts I truly was. That my thoughts on something weren’t always the situation and life 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to those things. That was a big deal for me. Another big deal was when I took the blinders off and noticed other people at work who were doing things that I thought I couldn’t do, they were no smarter than me. I always felt they maybe they knew more or could do more. But realizing that made a big difference for me. I started to push myself to do better.
I am really proud of myself. I am not perfect but I do my best and I give my all. Sometimes things are not easy. I feel like sometimes when people suffer from anxiety they aren’t really sure what it is and sometimes those symptoms get confused with low self worth or thinking something is just generally wrong with you. And its not, you are okay. You can get through this and leave this fear prison behind you. I highly recommend using a CBT program or workbook.
Let’s face it, old habits die hard. If you are trying to change your life you need to avoid situations that you’d previously over indulged at or attend those situations prepared. Yesterday was my higher calorie day so I gave myself some slack. Not only did I have breakfast out (where I didn’t have too much), but I also had two large slices of very salty pieces of pepperoni pizza while at a social gathering. And yes, I drank a big portion of my calories yesterday with mixed drinks. The scale thanked me today with water weight.
So how do you go into battle? I knew this was my higher day so I didn’t really care but today I see it on the scale and I also feel like crap. My joints hurt and I am exhausted. I love having drinks but it does make me uninhibited and prone to making extra pizza type of decisions. This gathering is actually not something I typically do but it does happen on occasion. I didn’t feel like my decisions where ever over the top or out of control but I knew that the scale would laugh at me today. Part of this is also that you cannot keep going in that direction and making these choices daily. Its a once in a while thing.
Do you take progress photos? Even if you didn’t start from the beginning with a photos I strongly recommend you do this! I use a measurement app, and take photos with it on a weekly basis. So whether you love getting your photo taken or hate it, here 4 reasons why you need to take progress photos.
- Accountability. When you take a photo each week or month its similar to a weight in. It tends to keep you honest with yourself!
- Progress. No duh! You will be surprised by the difference in your body with diet and exercise. Even if the scale doesn’t change much, if you are exercising you body will improve.
- It’s about you and your journey. I know, this is basically the word progress but stay with me here. It’s not just for some online social media fad or show off session. Some people do these photos to sell a product or show off on social media. Honestly, you don’t have to boast but you will probably want to because, damn it be proud of your progress. I don’t post my photos anywhere and I probably never will but I could spend hours looking at the difference between now and when I started! I’ve only lost 11 pounds and I am in awe by the physical differences in my face, and mid section.
- Motivation. There are certain things I do that help to keep me motivated towards my goal of 140 pounds. This is one of them. It truly makes a big difference seeing yourself visually at your worst and your best. Knowing that you are making progress and your hard work is paying off.
Two days a week, usually on the weekend I consume my maintenance mode calories (or around that). The weekend started early yesterday with Chinese food last night. I tried to pick something that I’d enjoy that “seemed” somewhat healthier and ate it within a normal portion size. I think I did well. I had one crab rangoon and I had Moo Shoo Chicken, I made one wrap. It may not have been the best option but it was an option, right? This morning I was so busy pulling myself together to slip out for a for realsy coffee that I forgot to weigh myself. Today I will also NOT be doing my weekly measurement and opting to wait for next week. I almost feel like I am missing out! Maybe I’ll do it anyway. It just seemed like maybe it was redundant. How often do you measure and do progress photos?
It’s day 60 of sticking with me so I can feel more healthy and better about myself. Not going to lie to you, there are days! I am officially down 11 pounds in two months, give or take an ounce. That’s pretty amazing despite feeling like I wish it was faster! So I feel like I am officially at a good spot of good food options. I am always wanting to HAVE more options but I’ve actually been trying different products and not just sticking with standby of only set options. My goal is three meals a day under 300 calories each.
It’s going well and I am not giving up. I also like using the zigzag diet method! I am really amazed that I’ve lost 11 pounds, I still have 23 pounds to go. Last time I lost weight when I hit around 144 I stopped tracking. I don’t plan to do that. I want to stay with this to get to 135 – 140 lbs. Then go into maintenance mode where I still track.
Here in America if you look around you, you will see the true pandemic isn’t covid19, but obesity. Obesity creeps around us under the guise that something is wrong with those people. What are they doing wrong? Is it really us?
Our culture has been under attack for 50 years now, and its not just the family unit that is suffering, but individual health both mental and physical. At first it may be difficult to see because it was slow moving insidious how it creeped in to our health, science, and diet industries. But you can see these problems in our people.
Remember when covid first started we had no idea what to do, because no one knew anything about it. The way it was handled was not from a leadership standpoint, in any part of the world. All leaders seemed to react the same and all front facing health officials seem to be just as wishy-washy as the next. Now, look back to how the diet industry has been handled? The onslaught of diets, what works, what doesn’t work, its constantly changing. And the “foods” we have so easily accessible to us are loaded with chemicals. The same chemicals if you spoon-fed them to a child you’d be arrested for child abuse or trying to kill them.
You may think its FREEDOM to eat whatever you want and sit around doing whatever you want. Yes, I agree as an individual we have the choices and the tools, but realize that we have been deceived with confusion. This is our life we are given, and we have only right now. But please be aware, as you can take control of what might be out of control for you, it wasn’t because you just so happened to land here. The state you are in, needing to lose weight or out of shape has been by design. You have control of you, please take this control and do your best to NOT let the diet / health industry continue to steer you in the direction of being fat and sick. These systems in place have turned into toxic relationships. Let’s join together and tell them no thank you.
I had hoped by Wednesday, yesterday that I’d hit 163 but no such luck. Please tell me who are these people that lose 2 pounds a week? This morning the scale FLICKERED to 163.6 and then it say NAAAAH. I also feel like this week I have been hungrier and less organized though I have been marking down all of my food. I have gone over a couple times. I have been stressed out this week about work so perhaps that is related.
How do you deal with work stress?
I have a family member staying at my house. Its weird how events being different can throw you off. Like somehow this change means I should eat more, or differently. It makes no sense to me but for some reason this actually throws me off to this point. I haven’t gone off my diet but I have been more confused by the items and choices and feeling much more hungry.
I feel pretty confident that this week I will have no weight loss. I will not give up. I am staying here for the battle.