Reduce my resting rate

I am exhausted today. I had a horrible night sleep due to staying up to watch tv. I need to get back on track learning this
stuff for work because I know nothing. When I am overwhelmed I give up. And that is where I am and I am wondering if another
opportunity out there exists that I am even capable of. What if I am meant to be jobless and homeless. I am tired today. So
its Friday at least. I was going to go out tonight but I am thinking about just staying home, I mean whats the point? When
someone just slowly drifts away and treats you less and less why bother? I am so tired and to go out then stay out later while
being so tired and do what? Listen to a bunch of garbage talk that never gives me more care or respect. No thanks. I will
cancel today telling him what I feel and its tired and not good. So of course because I got crap sleep the scale went back up
and I figured that would be the case. Interesting if I sleep later it reflects my weightloss? If I don’t it doesn’t. Weight
loss is slow but it’s not a race its a healing process

On the quitting coffee front, this is fascinating to me. It’s been a little over 30 days. The biggest difference I am seeing
is my resting rate! I was averaging 59-65bpm, which is low but for me that was on the higher side. In just thirty days I am
not seeing resting rates of 53-56bpm. I started doing step this week in coordination with walking daily. What’s funny to me is
my knees started out really sore but they are actually feeling better as the week goes on. Like they were sore the first
couple days doing step. I ordered additional knee support, I hope it will be in soon. The coffee jones is starting to fade as
well, which is good because I figured that’d never go away. I still have days when exhaustion hits me and I need sleep but not
like in the first few weeks. I am excited about this change I feel like it really helped me to kickstart this change in my
life to being more healthful.


Weigh in for today, is…. 161.81 I think in about three weeks I will be at 159. This is great news am I am moving right
along in a positive direction. I was going to reduce my calorie intake but I am just going to keep at this and work out
regularly. Eventually I will get there. It took me a lot of years to gain the weight slowly and I will work to reverse this.
In other news I was looking at my resting rates because it interests me seeing this direct correlations with no coffee and my
heart. When going to sleep at night my heart rate isn’t as high. I wonder if I am snoring less. I will keep at my fitness as
well as healthier diet and see what other changes I notice. Yeah I want to look good and fit into a better size while feeling
good about myself but I also like that my body is reflecting the healthier changes. I was using tdee calculator and it
recommended a low cal number based on my sedentary life but I tend to think since I have been pushing for exercise, even if
mostly just walking that I am not sedentary. This week I did start step as well. I love Jenny Ford Fitness, and I highly
recommend her videos. She has a ton of them and I appreciate that she loves step as much as I do.

18 Pounds Lost with 13 Pounds Left 

In total since I started this journey, I have lost 18 pounds. I have been hung up since October of last year. I am not done or comfortable where I am on the scale. Numbers are not everything, I agree! I am 5’5, and I’d always hear about women who were 5’9 and 117 pounds. Like what? That baffles me, my body just says there is NO way. 

When I measured this weekend, my weight was the same as it was last October, so that is GREAT! But with the measurements stopping I also stopped working out. I did not stop walking, but dare I say that I need more than that? So here is the breakdown: 

My bust measured at a 1-inch gain… 

My chest measured at a 1-inch gain… 

My waist stayed the same. 

My hips had a 2-inch gain… 

Last October I opted to stop doing weekly measurements because I wanted to see a bigger change! I got the bigger change! I have said repeatedly that I need to log on to a regular basis otherwise I cheat myself. I do not think I am getting away with something, I just assume I have time. Also, I do not know what happened that I stopped working out regularly but from a mental standpoint fitness always makes me feel better even if it is small. I am back at pushing myself. And I have learned my lesson and I am officially measuring myself weekly as well as weighing in daily.  


I am 46 years old. In my 20s I walked, ran, and did step aerobics. I considered myself to be fit! Which has been interesting since when I was younger, I was a smoker (from age 13-21), and I was not athletic. In my early 30s I had my daughter and I struggled to find myself again. I was not one of those mothers who was great at balance and doing things for my family and myself. I was lost and struggled to find balance for years!

It was not until my daughter was around 8 that I started working out again. I did this thing where I decided to commit to fitness to battle off depression and it worked! But then my mother moved in in 2017 and I fell apart. Life had taken an unexpected turn and I did not love it. Fastforward to now, I am still floundering. I have decided that I am going to refocus my efforts on fitness because I am getting old and want to be strong and fit. Do not get me wrong, I still manage to walk a few miles a couple of days a week, but I want to work out more than that. I would like to get back to jogging.

So, I was contemplating buying a treadmill. I had one many years ago and used it all the time and loved it. But will I still enjoy it? I like being outside more than on the treadmill. It is a huge financial investment, and the part that bugs me the most about treadmills is they weigh a ton!

I also love step aerobics. I am a huge fan of Jenny Ford Fitness. I also love lifting weights. So, I am kind of up in the air. I also am a mother of a daughter who is 12 going on 13 and she needs exercise too. I have been contemplating just getting a treadmill for here and going to classes twice a week with her for kickboxing. It would be a fun way for her and me to get fit and get out of the house.

I decided to write this down because it has been on my mind, and I have yet to commit to anything other than simple walks. What do you do for fitness? What do you recommend?

Weight Loss Measures

I am the type of person who stays on track and more focused if I have an see data! Here is what I need to stay focused:

  1. Daily calorie count (no lies)
  2. Daily weigh in
  3. Weekly measurements with photos

I noticed when I started to lose focus was around when I cut back on doing the weekly measurements. Instead of wanted to do them every other week hoping to see more dramatic results. Then it turned into once a month. Then it turned into not at all. Then you have a bad food day and say no I don’t want to see the scale. At least this is me. I know that other people feel like the scale screws them over but it helps me to garner focus to achieve my goals.

How to: Jump back on the wagon

When you fall off the wagon it is a slippery slope to get back on track. Previously when I’d fallen off, I went a rampage and wanted to eat all the wanted and whatever I wanted until I was “ready” to back in diet mode. I know you know what I am talking about!! It’s that meal attitude!!

So here is my 3 step approach to get back to your diet and healthy eating:

  1. Log your food. This is the first thing I throw out the door when I fall off the wagon. It’s so important to be honest with yourself and every single calorie you intake! Even drinks. Logging your food seems like a pain but you’ll find you eat similar foods and apps make it easy. It takes probably total of 15 minutes out of my day. Its a practice that helps me stay focused and realize when I am over indulging!
  2. Get up and go for a walk. I want to do more than this, I always want to do more than this! I see myself running! But even a simple walk will help with burning calories and if you enjoy it then its enough.
  3. Drink lots of water. This is one of the other things that I forget to do! Its interesting how you can just NOT want to do something then do it and realize what a major difference it makes to your body when you drink lots of water. I like to drink my water out of glass and I suggest you do the same! Its so much easier to drink and its cleaner.

You are probably think that’s it? Yes, that’s it. When you take small actions and do them every single day even if they are not perfect they will pay off over time Please be kind to yourself!


This is not about diet today! Well I did have a donut for breakfast but that’s ok it was a choice and portioned properly and accounted for. I went to a special bakery with my daughter. Its amazing and one of those every once a great while treats! It was pretty tasty!

This post a little off topic but I guess not really. This past week I have been sick with a terrible cold. I am starting to feel better. And yes I did what the doctor recommended, I got tested for COVID so I could be cataloged into the database.

I was just going to say today isn’t about diet or exercise but it actually could be. So hold onto your hat. For the past few months I knew I wanted to change my job. Actually before the “pandemic” started I just got an offer and I was on way out of the company. I decided to hang tight until things settled down. During that time I realized some things that I wanted to change in terms of my career. I have interviewed at a few companies. More recently I had a great interview where I loved all the people I met with! But the job itself didn’t sound like what I wanted. So I decided to turn down their offer. I probably would have considered it more carefully but I knew I had this interview for a job coming up that was local and sounded more like what I did when I worked at my last company. Not exactly overall but similarities are there. So I actually go the chance to screen with HR and the gal I spoke with was great! She was so nice and informative! Then I got a second meeting with the hiring manager. It went ok, but I felt like they were not prepared and it was awkward. Their lack of prep threw me off. I guess that’s a bad sign overall, and maybe it means its not what I think? I was also sick. The manager kept fumbling and her nervousness made me nervous. Sometimes I think when you are asked to interview with a company you are merely filler. That there is another candidate they have in mind.

What am I getting at? Well I really want the job so I am feeling anxious about it. In that I am circling and obsessing over it. I immediately felt I didn’t do good enough on the interview. And I have emailed them three times since! What a psycho! First was a thank you to the group. The second I emailed the manager because I didn’t ask something about the team I would have liked to know. The third was to the tech guy I’d work with (he was nice), asking about the CMS. I couldn’t understand the word they called it on the call. So I wanted to ask. I had more in-depth questions but I didn’t bother because I feel like I am seeming like a haunt. And I don’t get the vibe that I’d be a top pick. I also don’t know they will be able to gauge well based on their preparation.

So with that you can tell, I am totally obsessing. I need to drop it and move on. If I don’t hear by NEXT Wednesday then I will touch base with HR to ask. I am guessing its a no go though. Also, I need to exercise to help clear my head and heart. This is too much pent up stressing out. There is a team meeting today where I will probably be told I have no choice left.

Fitness Fizzle

Does this happen to you? I jump in and I start working out and I am going strong for 60 days on track and all of the sudden I don’t want to anymore? Its weird this past week I have struggled with depression and wanting to workout. I was enjoying walking for an hour and suddenly my drive is gone. I am going to force myself to do it today but I’ve been feeling it for about 4 days now. The less I move, the less I want to move so I know I need to do this, now more than ever. But I wonder if I am alone? It’s like a weight overcomes me. Perhaps its stress or hormonal? What do you do to fight this off?

Pay NO Attention to Calories BURNED

I am sedentary. I work an office job where I sit all day long on my caboose. I like what I do, I am a web developer but with that it requires lots of sitting and study time (also sitting). I recently started exercising more but I still consider myself sedentary.

When I first started my weight loss journey I was counting my calories then my little fitness / food application would automatically deduct the calories I burned so I thought — oh good I can eat more. I don’t know if I am special because of my sedentary lifestyle or that I am an endomorph or that I am getting old or because I am female but those calories burned were a joke. It would even steven me and I was not losing weight. I still struggle to lose a pound every two weeks not even counting those calories!

Ok, so my best guess is try a month using the calories burned caloric intake amount. This will let you gauge if using that number is realistic for you. It did nothing for me my body laughed at it. I am not patient enough to stick with something for a month if I am seeing zero results, even a week drives me nuts. Typically I assess each week. This week am closing in on zero loss again. And mind you I don’t count the calories burned but I want to note I also was averaging around 1200-1300 calories a day and the calorie calculator at says I should be around 1150 to lose. I am going to focus in on bringing my calories in a little bit more and try to be consistent about it.

Another reason why I think using the calories burned is trash, is because I don’t think its accurate. I think that number is much higher than the reality of the calories burned. That its a sales pitch to first keep using their tool and second to keep you JUST fat enough of that you need their tool.

When counting calories do you use the calories burned or ignore them?

Workouts for Weight loss

What is your favorite workout? Is your answer none? Growing up, I was the oddball who never fit in during gym class due to low self confidence. After graduating high school, I realized I didn’t want to be fat and out of shape as my weight creeped up. I slowly started to walk and exercise more throughout the years. My go to workout for years, has been step aerobics. It probably shows my age because I love this exercise so much. I ran for a few years too, with my max run being five miles! But since 30 years old I have struggled with time and life issues to stay on track. I finally found that sweet spot when I was 39, and got back on track but life hit me again and it fell apart.

Throughout the years of being a mom, my biggest struggle was doing this for me and struggling with anxiety and depression. The realization that doing this for me, actually helps with my anxiety and depression. The past 4 years have been so hard for us. Especially this past year, the level of depression I have felt has been deep and dark. I know others have felt this as well with the pandemic. Its interesting because last time I got on track I started with exercise then realized I need to change my diet. This time I started with diet and realized I needed to add more exercise.

My favorite workouts have always been step aerobics and walking. I love running but I have never been fast and I actually feel like I need to get into better shape before attempting that. A few channels on youtube that I love are, cdornerfitness and jennyfordfitness. They offer great basic step workouts for beginner to advanced. And they are free. Back when I was younger I enjoyed videos by Petra Kolber, Kathy Smith, and Gin Miller.