Caffeine and the hunger hormone

I recently dropped coffee after drinking it on and off for 20 or more years. At a young age my mother informed me that coffee helped with weight loss. I always thought it did and I have always drank my coffee in fear that I’d gain even more weight losing it. Well that wasn’t the only reason, it is also very addictive. But I really thought, especially while dieting that I needed that boost. That it helped to lose weight. But I am wondering if the opposite was true for me, maybe there are key elements in the coffee that make it so on paper that would be true but what if the other effects outweighed it? I am not saying that this is true for everyone, but for me I am wondering if it was true. Last June I had started with trying to lose weight and get fit. Outside stress really hit me the end of July. It was life changing and it sucked. But then I fell off the wagon. I have always consistently drank my morning coffee. And when I say morning coffee I mean 2-4 large cups with cream. I loved it. And I still do in terms of a drink but in terms of the effects I noticed issues:

  1. Everyday I was stressed, yes I have a new job but the level of stress and reactive I was was over the top. I would be ready to pop stressing out about stuff all day long.
  2. I was exhausted all day and felt like I didn’t have time to complete anything and oddly I work from home and have no commute or social life
  3. I was reactive to everything, like before understanding something I would freak out.
  4. I would drink lots of coffee and I would be starving after having a surpressed appetite; but then I’d have a crash, not necessarily tired but shake or irritable
  5. I was unable to recommit to my health and found myself in the loop of promising myself every single day I would do better and by the end of the day I would say tomorrow
  6. I felt hopeless

I don’t entirely blame coffee for all this but the anxiety and stress it helped to egg on created a lot of these issues. It amazes that I am a week without it and I notice all this. As silly as it sounds I have more free time to do things. I used to have sit and drink my coffee it was consuming, it took up at least an hour or more a day. But the time loss on the other side of that created by stress and resting was also a lot of time. I would just sit and stare at my cellphone instead. I feel like it wasted a large part of my years. I know people don’t consider it a drug; but it definitely is. My mind without it is so different. And this last time I stopped drinking it the addiction withdrawals have been worse. I am almost over it. The first 4-5 days are the worst but I am still feeling small effects from the withdrawals. I was consistently blogging for a long time and loving it and I dropped off. That was when it was really horrible and honestly I couldn’t even put together a consistent thought. It was more like freethinking than writing with one subject matter in mind.

So with all this said how does it tie into weight loss? So I always thought it improved it. In recent years when trying to lose pounds my body has stubbornly held onto every single pound and maybe it still will but at least I have my brain back to try. I have already noticed a slight drop since I started last week and I will keep at it. I am excited and happy to be back to this journey and I hope to lose 20 pounds. I would like to lose 30 but I haven’t been that weight since 2004! LOL.

Ok off I go to work.

Excited about this

I am excited! I am excited to be back on track! I am looking forward to the next year and how I will achieve my goals! How the heck the simple change of quitting coffee woke this up in me is beyond me! But it did and I am so excited to care for my body and appreciate its worth. I love the difference I am feeling mentally by kicking this habit. I am also noticing a big difference in my state of being hungry! I feel less hungry without coffee, which is great since I just cut back on calories.

One of the things that I adore about a weight loss channel I follow on Youtube, thecollets is that they love what the do, they love the journey. I love the journey too, and I want to. Its about having fun and enjoying life and finding ways to enjoy your food still too. I am 19 pounds away from my goal. I want to be a hot 50 year old. I am going to achieve this. Not just about being trim but being fit too. I love this focus.

Could it be??

Part of what has made me shy away from dropping coffee is the weight loss effects. I have always been told that it is an appetite suppressant as well as helps you lose weight by picking up your adrenaline. What if that wasn’t true? I am a week free off coffee and drinking water or tea instead (mostly water) and I am less hungry and want to eat my breakfast later. I like to fast longer in the morning and feel like its better for me personally as well I prefer working out first then eating. It doesn’t always happen but its my preference.

It could be my body adjusting to the hormone changes but oddly I also started eating a calorie deficit and I am not noticing the hunger difference like I thought I would. Every time I have dieted I always had coffee in hand because I felt like it filled me up and now I am wondering if I had always done it all wrong. I am not feeling the crash and I am not feel that drop of total starvation. It’s quite nice. I am excited and proud of myself. What if this change is the key to those ups and downs too; where I could consistently feel like me and more positive. I am fascinated that this change has made a difference for me so quickly in terms of calmness and clarity.


So today I did my measurements and it was not pretty! My waist is large. This is okay I am ready to get back on track to take care of me. I have started with counting calories and properly portioning. Small steps towards making things better. I am officially one week out from being caffeine free. I was reading a book about quitting coffee and its not just the caffeine that make coffee so horrible there are tons of chemicals in it as well, which somehow I was blissfully unaware of!

I am also a strong advocate for fit trackers. Not because of motivation, though it did that when I was younger, it doesn’t anymore. The other tracking parts, like my heart rate; are fascinating to me. This data is key. Last year when my work started to lay on the stress my heart rate increased and it hasn’t come down since. That is called stress. I was around 54 heart rate; now I am 60. I am going to work at getting exercise.

After exercising just a few days I am already less achy when I stand. I already notice subtle differences. My plan is to start doing weights, step and walk / jog. I have been bringing my daughter with me too. She is such a good kid. I want so badly to make better choices to give her a better happier life than this.

Day 1 Back…

I jumped all in today, I did photos and measurements. And counted calories as well as weighed in. I am astonished with how much mind feels happier and better without caffeine. I am going to research the mood altering affects of coffee because I am curious about the information that might exist. For the past three year I have struggled, with everything that has been going on and I know I have stopped drinking coffee here and there. But it all kind of blends together and I wonder if the stress of work tied with stress creation by caffeine was just too much. I am also looking forward to the effects I might see related to my skin improving as well as the dark circles and psoriasis.

In terms of measurements my waist has seen the worst of it. It always does, I gain weight there first. I just want to be healthy and the idea of going into 50 being fit seems pretty sweet to me.

Caffeine and your mood

I am not a doctor. I am not a scientist. I am a person who is posting my experiences. 

I stopped drinking coffee again. This is probably the fourth time in my life I have quit. To be clear, quitting coffee is not easy. Which is why this is the fourth time I have quit! It is easy to fall back into drinking coffee if you are not clear on why you are stopping, and your plan is moving forward. What do I mean? Well, aside from being socially acceptable it is on every single street corner. If you are like me, with your 3-4 cups of coffee each day it becomes a habit you think you need, and it also is used to waste time. It takes me 2 hours of “waking up” with my morning coffee. And please don’t forget how expensive this habit is too. I have a super addictive personality; so, I can’t have just one (and I don’t want to anymore either now that I realized what it was doing to me).  

You might be surprised to realize how physically addictive it is. The first withdrawal symptom I noticed was a massive headache. This headache is tied to your brain getting more blood than it used to because caffeine restricts that. This may not be the scientific speech of this, but this is basically the gist. After that dissipates you will notice body aches, in particular for me its back pain that goes through my legs and ankles. This happens to me on days 3-6.  

But here is what I am really here to tell you. The level of anxiety I was experiencing at work this past year has been intense. Stopping coffee, though it’s a challenge it has made a huge difference for me and how stressed I am. I am much calmer. It gets better too. I had been focused on weight loss last year and I have been struggling to find the will and drive to care about myself again. To want to be more healthful. I have not had it in me to consistently exercise or try to eat healthier. In the past two days my mind has woken up in a positive way. It’s bizarre to me that I feel better mentally, less stressed out and I want to take care of myself. All by stopping coffee. I am on day 6 of no coffee. I had to take a few naps a day at first, but I am actually starting to have more energy. 

And another upside. Though I didn’t put sugar in my coffee, I did like cream. That is a big reduction in my calorie intake, and it lets me actually enjoy food instead when eating at a calorie deficit. So here I am weighing in at 165 pounds with the goal being 145 pounds. I am going for it, and I feel pretty dang great. 

By the way, I have decided based on the research I have done about coffee that this isn’t a 30-day quit but a forever goodbye to my old friend. If you go to google and search about coffee being bad or good for you, you will find articles about why you should drink coffee and it improves your mood. Sure, it does, that first time you drink the drug but then there after you chase the high. It causes adrenal fatigue, which is basically making you more tired, it causes anxiety, it depletes your iron which causes premature graying, it damages your gut, and I really think it messes up the chemistry of your brain as well as your hormones. So, I am excited to jump back in to regain my body and mind.  

Trying to find my gusto

I have been trying to find my motivation to get back to my calorie deficit. After two months of contemplation I have decided to stop drinking coffee. I know if you google this there are million reasons why it’s “healthy” or good for weight loss but the truth is it becomes so consuming and anxiety producing for me that I am better off not drinking it. The problem that I tend to have is staying off coffee. Its just because I only drink water and I’ll try to drink tea out of boredom but I just crave something different. Any suggestions would be great. I know that its terrible for me as the withdrawal from it is always a nightmare. I am excited to be calm. Less stressed out. Less obsessed. This week I will attempt fitness in the morning instead of coffee. Want to hear something else craszy about when I stop drinking coffee? I have so much more free time. Stupid I know. Maybe this week I can get back on task with calories too. I am going to stay positive and strong.

And up she goes

I decide to do intermittent fasting then ate breakfast at 10:30 AM. I had chips twice, a salty sandwich, bagel with creamed cheese for dinner, a donut, and two cocktails and cheese and crackers. YAAAA. So apparently the ONLY way for weight loss to work for me is to log every single calorie and to be accountable for every single piece of food that goes into my mouth. It amazes me that every single time I have to gp back to this process where I earn this is the only thing that works for me. I am American so I do wish there was a magic pill or surgery for these 30 pounds but I am litterally 9 pounds from my starting weight last June. I have almost gained it all back. It has been a shit year, and the stress has been unreal but that is life, LIFE is stressful. My stomach looks gross. I don’t want to spend the rest of my years focused on this and eating garbage. I need to just take steps forward for better. Its my health and existence. I just want better for myself. And spending each day doing the things that make me unhappy then beating myself up at the end of the day is a waste. I am going to stop sitting around with my phone all night, I know, its a horrible habit. No snacks after six. No chips or flour based desserts. And counting calories starting today. I don’t need to be perfect but I do need to be aware and do my best. If I do my best there is no reason to beat myself up.

I follow a gal on Youtube and sometimes she reads from her weight loss journal about not being worthy or good enough. I don’t feel like that is something I feel?? I mean in terms of work and life I guess and sometimes I fall to such a sad state of depression. For example this weekend I was rock bottom feeling all weekend. I tried to focus on eating healthy but just ate like crap. And if I don’t watch the scale and calories I am a mess. Who are these people who can stay on task without that? I want that! LOL. Its like I go crazy and think the guard isn’t watching take extra. And the more bad foods I eat the worse I get. It starts as one meal then next thing you know ever single meal and snack is processed and bad for me. And I have a 40 inch waste. Gross. The guy I had been dating struggled with weight for the past 7 years and suddenly he is down to thin weight. He looks good. I liked him up or down. Didn’t bother me either way. I am back on task of as TODAY right now and I will do this till December. Mark it down b*tches its 6/13. If I stay with this and lose 2 lbs a month I could be down 12 by then…Ok I am logging it out starting TODAY.

Intermittent fasting

There is a name to not eating for long stretches of time, called intermittent fasting. I am sure you have heard of it. When I was younger, I practiced this because I didn’t bother with breakfast, and I hated eating lunch at school. So, I’d only eat a small amount at lunch if anything; and when I got home, I’d a snack then I would have dinner.

Yesterday I was watching a video where a woman mentioned doing this. She lost a bunch of weight, but the truth is she was fit, then had a baby. Gained some baby weight; and this was her results after losing the baby weight. I was 34 when I had my child. I lost the 40 lbs. of baby weight in the hospital in like two weeks after having my baby. I am not saying its easy, I am saying that when you have your first child losing baby weight, in my experience was easier than the fat of MOM weight. I would classify mom weight as 5 or more years of stress. Working full time, going to college part time, having you mother move in with you. Mom weight can also be classified as Stress Weight. Anyway, despite watching her video and thinking maybe some of this is due to being young and a new mom. I have decided to give it a try where I wait till 11 or later for “Breakfast / Lunch.”

I want to break my fast later instead of at 8am. I get up early so it might be a challenge. But I will try to change this up. I have been so bloated and gassy. I am so disappointed in myself. Trying to get on track is not easy that is for sure.

Bloated and gassy

The past ten years have been so challenging. In 2017 after losing weight and getting my life on track, I inherited my mother. That was stressful but worse was that 4 months later I found out she had cancer. That was a year long fight. I also changed jobs because my job was a disaster for me. That was extremely stressful and just when you think things are settling down covid started. And from there it turned into all the rioting and realizing things weren’t what I thought they were. I ended up changing my job at again this April and honestly there was a lot of other stressful crap in the mix but that was everything we all had deal with. Today, I said enough is enough I need to get on track then I ate chips and ice cream. My stomach is so bloated. I don’t want to keep on this gross path of eating poorly then feeling bad about my garbage decisions. I have so many bags of chips in my cupboard right now. I don’t even know why. I am sheer misery living with people I don’t want to live with like I’d rather be with my ex. I am hating this. So, I need to get on track for myself and my “family”

The question is how? I feel like I am going to barf. Every night I am full of gas and sick feeling. Do you drink coffee?