I didn’t fall off the diet wagon but I did fall into a bit of slump. Today I took the first step to get back to fitness and diet. I did step for 15 minutes. Unreal that I could be going at such a good pace and fall off the face of the earth! It happens and over the years its happened to me. Its like the wind stops blowing and my sails fall into the water! I was so busy last week and planted to my chair for a lot of hours trying to achieve what I wanted.

During that time I realized that I am not great at certain things and it was time for a change which led me down and entirely different path that also requires a ton of sitting. But that’s ok. I will do a combination and focus my efforts into this because its important and what I want to do. I feel like I kind of lost my way years ago with my career.

With that said I will not lose focus on my health as without that there is nothing else. I haven’t faltered from my diet though because its not easy for me to lose I have to be 100% on diet and exercise to keep losing. Oddly if I eat 1100 without exercise that is maintenance. I’m ready to unearth some new low cal – high volume dinner recipes!! Maybe I’ll try chili for dinner if I have any left, that was delicious!!

I missed my three month milestone! I had a crazy week last week but I’m back! I am down 16 pounds!! I’m so proud of myself. This week I’m back to fitness and I’m considering jogging and walking. But it’s ok if I don’t!! My next goal is 155 and of course 154 for the 20 lb mark!!!

This past week was very stressful for me. I didn’t exercise all week. I don’t like my job nor do I think I will be capable of doing the spfx programming that is coming up in the future. Its not where I want to go with things. I want to transition out of this field.

So tell me why is it the day after my zigzag eating Chinese food I gained two pounds that took me an entire week to lose and the day after have two slices of pepperoni pizza, two beers, a brownie and some chips I am down .8 lbs! I slept in as late as possible in hopes that it’d make things better and that worked. Amazing how much a good nights sleep and water change the number on the scale. My body says thank you! I really wonder what it is that is in the Chinese food that is so bad, perhaps the MSG? I don’t know but its something that my body had a reaction to.

Today I am back on track because I also wonder if that was part of it; going too far on the 2nd day too though I am doubtful.

Forgiveness it means more than saying sorry… Ok so I finally recovered from my zigzag from last week on my current weeks zigzag! Took me a full week to recover from eating Chinese food. I wonder what could have been in the food that caused the bloating and retention that last a full week! I researched the MSG connection to weight gain and it does exist! But who knows? So today is my zigzag and measurement day. I am reluctant to bother with either! But I will zigzag today, carefully. I also recovered back to my previous weeks starting weight and I am finally able to offer myself forgiveness. Two weeks stuck in one spot because of the zigzag.

My scale is basically laughing at me this week. Between switching to an earlier morning start to work on homeschooling and having this additional project for a job interview, I am taxed out. I’m not giving in. This too shall pass, and next week will actually be better. You know its just having a lot to do its how I feel while doing these things. Upset, and on edge. At the start of the week I had a phone screening for a new job. It’s a remote opportunity working for a creative department. It sound fascinating to me but then the interviewer gives me a coding a challenge. It’s a three part project with three very separate pieces that could almost be their own project separately and if I had put the amount of time in that I would have liked to I would have created a better result. I finished the first two portions and final section I have no idea how to do it. I am trying to take it one step at a time. My reasoning with tasks like this is if you can’t figure out where to start then you aren’t the right person for the job. I have all that together but I am still wondering as I work because the amount of work assigned to a person who works full time already makes me question.

So that has been where my focus has been. It’s been a bit draining. I miss my blog because that’s what I enjoy doing more! I want to write about stress management but I am so stressed I don’t know how to manage it to write about it! Needless to say I am up 1 pound and the scale hasn’t done what I wanted this week. I am very disappointed. But as I write this I am feeling better and like it’s okay that I can gather myself together and recover. It started with last weekend and it seemed the build up of this week has just spun me around. I am not overdoing things, though I did have a very salty takeout salad last night. When you order a salad and its too salty you know things are bad. In my free time today I will try to resolve my problems with the json file and come up with a lean new recipe for dinner! I think for lunch I will have an egg wrap!

I was on a roll, losing weight well and being successful a few weeks. I felt like I had the the whole thing sewn up! That I could easily achieve this! I still believe I can achieve but not as easy I thought. The jump up 2 pounds after a weekend was upsetting but definitely a wake up call to how I had been using my zigzag day. I’d hardly say I pig out as it’s usually just dinner out but this last time, with my friend who likes to over-indulge, I did too! He is one of these people that orders 4 appetizers at the Chinese foods place and then orders a meal with vegetables on the side. We could survive with the apps alone and be full! We really don’t need the other stuff. That he orders so much food baffles me and that he eats so much of it too! It’s almost like he believes that because he is out, there is an exception to the rule. So whatever, he can do him but the problem is me and how I react to it. I need to realize it just doesn’t work for me and I need to portion my food despite what those around me choose to do! I am not blaming him, I just know I always fall into the social trap. Where if they can do it, why can’t I?

I am still recovering from this weekend! I am still amazed the past two weeks I have spent recovering from over-indulgence after the weekend. I also wonder if it was because I bought ham deli meat, for whatever reason when I eat extra sodium I retain water. I tossed it in the trash yesterday because I do have goals! I have returned back to 159, I am still sad to lose 158! But that’s okay I am still here, going in the correct direction. It’s important to realize the errors and to move forward and to not make those some mistakes. The Chinese food that I had wasn’t even worth it! I am proud of myself either way. It’d be ideal if the weight came off faster but the reality is that at least I am taking steps and that its pretty much a forever task since it is my health.

What do you do to stay on task and be positive?