Motivation

Get back on Track to Weight Loss!

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

I am not a doctor; I am just a normal person who is on a weight loss journey. I started July 2021 at 175 pounds, and I am currently at 157.6 pounds. I have lost a whopping 17 pounds in a year. I fell off track for a few months but after I made some life changes, I was able to regain my composure. How did I do it? You probably won’t like this answer but, in this post, I will share with you how I was able to get back on track and how I will get to my goal of 135 pounds. I cannot imagine hitting that goal, but I will aim for it! 

Last year I was enthusiastically losing and being healthy. When I was hit with massive work stress. It was horrible and through me off track. I had lost 20 pounds and I just slowly fell back to eating badly and gained 10 pounds back. When I fell off track it wasn’t just off track it was depression and lack of interest in getting back on track. The major change that I made that helped me to get back on track was stopping drinking coffee. Don’t stop reading. Maybe you don’t drink coffee? Maybe you drink soda? Maybe alcohol? For me it was coffee, and it wasn’t even the good kind! I would have coffee either black or with cream. I didn’t put sugar in my coffee. In May I decided I wanted to stop drinking coffee to see if it would help with anxiety, stress, red face, increased heart rate, and the last thing I thought it would help with was weight loss.

I drank 2-4 cups of coffee each day and I loved it. I thought I needed it. It was time consuming and expensive. I quit cold turkey and I was exhausted. I immersed myself in reading about why you should detox or quit coffee while I was quitting to help stay motivated. Here is the weird part by day four I was still tired, but I was feeling motivated to do better with myself and my life! To eat healthier. I decided to do daily weigh ins, count calories, and do weekly measurements to start keeping myself accountable. And here is the part I didn’t expect at all with quitting coffee, I used to suffer from decision making fatigue. At the end of the day I didn’t care, I was more impulsive! I would say whatever and have two pieces of pizza with onion rings. Because I deserved a treat. Now I feel clear in that that is not even a treat and will do me no good. That one piece is enough. My journey is not perfect, by any stretch. But this has helped me a lot. Are you drinking or eating something that might alter your brain chemistry and cause that fatigue? If I drink alcohol, I have the same decision fatigue.

With stopping coffee my heart rate is also much less per a minute. I was 58-65bpm and now I am at 49-55bpm! That blows my mind. And I feel like its only getting better seeing these changes from no longer drinking coffee. Maybe you have a habit you can kick and it will help you launch into other small healthful changes?

Reduce my resting rate

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment


I am exhausted today. I had a horrible night sleep due to staying up to watch tv. I need to get back on track learning this
stuff for work because I know nothing. When I am overwhelmed I give up. And that is where I am and I am wondering if another
opportunity out there exists that I am even capable of. What if I am meant to be jobless and homeless. I am tired today. So
its Friday at least. I was going to go out tonight but I am thinking about just staying home, I mean whats the point? When
someone just slowly drifts away and treats you less and less why bother? I am so tired and to go out then stay out later while
being so tired and do what? Listen to a bunch of garbage talk that never gives me more care or respect. No thanks. I will
cancel today telling him what I feel and its tired and not good. So of course because I got crap sleep the scale went back up
and I figured that would be the case. Interesting if I sleep later it reflects my weightloss? If I don’t it doesn’t. Weight
loss is slow but it’s not a race its a healing process

On the quitting coffee front, this is fascinating to me. It’s been a little over 30 days. The biggest difference I am seeing
is my resting rate! I was averaging 59-65bpm, which is low but for me that was on the higher side. In just thirty days I am
not seeing resting rates of 53-56bpm. I started doing step this week in coordination with walking daily. What’s funny to me is
my knees started out really sore but they are actually feeling better as the week goes on. Like they were sore the first
couple days doing step. I ordered additional knee support, I hope it will be in soon. The coffee jones is starting to fade as
well, which is good because I figured that’d never go away. I still have days when exhaustion hits me and I need sleep but not
like in the first few weeks. I am excited about this change I feel like it really helped me to kickstart this change in my
life to being more healthful.

And it’s on…

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

So, I have been eating better and exercising for the past week or so. I did my zigzag day and gained 1.4 pounds. Which brough me back to my starting weight. I am guessing based on calories ingested it was more an issue of dehydration, as I ate pizza and drank alcohol. But I am thinking about weight loss that I would like to try for a week. I like having eggs during the week, but I am wondering if they are high in hormones. I would suspect that they are since what it is! I am going to try a week of plain toast. I cut coffee and cream and stopped with cheese on such a regular basis. My guess is that I am imbalanced (and old). So that is my new plan just for a week to see how it pans out. I will get some muffins and bread.  

It is funny how disappointed I get when I am trying to lose weight, with how slowly it comes off. I hear about people who just portion their meals and lose weight. I stay the same. Ok, wait I get so defeatist. The truth is it comes off it I just slow. I need to work at adjusting though. And I also wonder if I am not being honest enough with myself over my calories. I will work on making sure I document everything.  

Coffee Quitter… 

And my journey continues. The first week was odd, almost euphoric! I wonder if it was the newfound blood going to my brain! This week I have been down, but I still feel great about the choice to quit. I am calmer but I still have anxiety. I had headaches on Wednesday and all week I had vivid dreams. So, one thing I know causes those dreams is hormones. Also, according to research, I have done it has to do with getting better deeper sleep because your body does not get that when you drink coffee! The reason the dreams tend to be longer and vivid is because your body is trying to stay in the REM sleep state longer due to the deprivation of it from the coffee.  

I have been tired but not as tired as I was the first four days. It fascinates me the withdrawals that happen when you quit. I put the coffee machine away and I gave my brother my unopened bag of joe. I am just officially done. I was hoping that coffee being gone with wake stuff up in my body for weight loss. I know there are claims it helps but it never helped me in the past. The biggest thing it did was suppress my appetite while trying to put off eating. But then I would be ravenous later. 

Caffeine and the hunger hormone

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

I recently dropped coffee after drinking it on and off for 20 or more years. At a young age my mother informed me that coffee helped with weight loss. I always thought it did and I have always drank my coffee in fear that I’d gain even more weight losing it. Well that wasn’t the only reason, it is also very addictive. But I really thought, especially while dieting that I needed that boost. That it helped to lose weight. But I am wondering if the opposite was true for me, maybe there are key elements in the coffee that make it so on paper that would be true but what if the other effects outweighed it? I am not saying that this is true for everyone, but for me I am wondering if it was true. Last June I had started with trying to lose weight and get fit. Outside stress really hit me the end of July. It was life changing and it sucked. But then I fell off the wagon. I have always consistently drank my morning coffee. And when I say morning coffee I mean 2-4 large cups with cream. I loved it. And I still do in terms of a drink but in terms of the effects I noticed issues:

  1. Everyday I was stressed, yes I have a new job but the level of stress and reactive I was was over the top. I would be ready to pop stressing out about stuff all day long.
  2. I was exhausted all day and felt like I didn’t have time to complete anything and oddly I work from home and have no commute or social life
  3. I was reactive to everything, like before understanding something I would freak out.
  4. I would drink lots of coffee and I would be starving after having a surpressed appetite; but then I’d have a crash, not necessarily tired but shake or irritable
  5. I was unable to recommit to my health and found myself in the loop of promising myself every single day I would do better and by the end of the day I would say tomorrow
  6. I felt hopeless

I don’t entirely blame coffee for all this but the anxiety and stress it helped to egg on created a lot of these issues. It amazes that I am a week without it and I notice all this. As silly as it sounds I have more free time to do things. I used to have sit and drink my coffee it was consuming, it took up at least an hour or more a day. But the time loss on the other side of that created by stress and resting was also a lot of time. I would just sit and stare at my cellphone instead. I feel like it wasted a large part of my years. I know people don’t consider it a drug; but it definitely is. My mind without it is so different. And this last time I stopped drinking it the addiction withdrawals have been worse. I am almost over it. The first 4-5 days are the worst but I am still feeling small effects from the withdrawals. I was consistently blogging for a long time and loving it and I dropped off. That was when it was really horrible and honestly I couldn’t even put together a consistent thought. It was more like freethinking than writing with one subject matter in mind.

So with all this said how does it tie into weight loss? So I always thought it improved it. In recent years when trying to lose pounds my body has stubbornly held onto every single pound and maybe it still will but at least I have my brain back to try. I have already noticed a slight drop since I started last week and I will keep at it. I am excited and happy to be back to this journey and I hope to lose 20 pounds. I would like to lose 30 but I haven’t been that weight since 2004! LOL.

Ok off I go to work.

Caffeine and your mood

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

I am not a doctor. I am not a scientist. I am a person who is posting my experiences. 

I stopped drinking coffee again. This is probably the fourth time in my life I have quit. To be clear, quitting coffee is not easy. Which is why this is the fourth time I have quit! It is easy to fall back into drinking coffee if you are not clear on why you are stopping, and your plan is moving forward. What do I mean? Well, aside from being socially acceptable it is on every single street corner. If you are like me, with your 3-4 cups of coffee each day it becomes a habit you think you need, and it also is used to waste time. It takes me 2 hours of “waking up” with my morning coffee. And please don’t forget how expensive this habit is too. I have a super addictive personality; so, I can’t have just one (and I don’t want to anymore either now that I realized what it was doing to me).  

You might be surprised to realize how physically addictive it is. The first withdrawal symptom I noticed was a massive headache. This headache is tied to your brain getting more blood than it used to because caffeine restricts that. This may not be the scientific speech of this, but this is basically the gist. After that dissipates you will notice body aches, in particular for me its back pain that goes through my legs and ankles. This happens to me on days 3-6.  

But here is what I am really here to tell you. The level of anxiety I was experiencing at work this past year has been intense. Stopping coffee, though it’s a challenge it has made a huge difference for me and how stressed I am. I am much calmer. It gets better too. I had been focused on weight loss last year and I have been struggling to find the will and drive to care about myself again. To want to be more healthful. I have not had it in me to consistently exercise or try to eat healthier. In the past two days my mind has woken up in a positive way. It’s bizarre to me that I feel better mentally, less stressed out and I want to take care of myself. All by stopping coffee. I am on day 6 of no coffee. I had to take a few naps a day at first, but I am actually starting to have more energy. 

And another upside. Though I didn’t put sugar in my coffee, I did like cream. That is a big reduction in my calorie intake, and it lets me actually enjoy food instead when eating at a calorie deficit. So here I am weighing in at 165 pounds with the goal being 145 pounds. I am going for it, and I feel pretty dang great. 

By the way, I have decided based on the research I have done about coffee that this isn’t a 30-day quit but a forever goodbye to my old friend. If you go to google and search about coffee being bad or good for you, you will find articles about why you should drink coffee and it improves your mood. Sure, it does, that first time you drink the drug but then there after you chase the high. It causes adrenal fatigue, which is basically making you more tired, it causes anxiety, it depletes your iron which causes premature graying, it damages your gut, and I really think it messes up the chemistry of your brain as well as your hormones. So, I am excited to jump back in to regain my body and mind.  

Dissection of failure

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

The title of this post is harsh and not that accurate as I do not believe in failure. Failure to me is when you give up and stop trying. I have never given up on anything. I might not be successful, but I always return back to try again.

Weigh in day… So, the last time I logged in I was at 156, and after three months I am now at 158.8 lbs. This was on a different scale, but I will weigh in again tomorrow on my normal scale. So here I am to try to lose the last 15 lbs. I will do my best. I have been eating a lot of pringles and dessert. I know horrible! Today I am logging out my calories and I also ordered recipe books for low calorie recipes. The reason is that I have a list of reasons that I fell off the wagon last time and lost focus. Life just happens. Do the reasons matter?? I feel like they do not, but I also wonder if I address them, will it help me to avoid it this time around?  

  • Work stress, which a given but it seemed like I had hit a place normal when they threw the stupid mandates into the mix. 
  • Distraction of the holidays 
  • Winter gloom 
  • Stress of homeschooling 

Stress will always exist. One thing that bothers me is the distraction level I have but also the loss of motivation. It is like the wind blows and it is all a great idea and the next day I cannot get out of bed. Does anyone here relate to this? I know that the BEST way for me to get past this is to consistently push myself every single day to create the habit. If the habit exists, it will kick into gear when the loss of motivation is there. I have done 100-day challenges before and got to day 90 and just quit. You catch a cold or severe weather or lose power and that is it you are done.  

How to get back on track?

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

Last year I was able to make some positive weight loss and health changes but then the stress started mounting towards the end of the year. With vaccine mandates at work and just being so discouraged by my current job. Things were going badly fast. And I had an offer, of much less money, that was local. I should have taken the offer, but I did not. It was one of those highly regrettable moments in your life when you reflect on it. It really disturbed my world. I have been struggling ever since. And seriously disgusted with me. Here I am, I have a new offer. I am taking it despite having some qualities I do not agree with because there are key factors that meet certain life-related needs.  

But I wonder do those “life-related” needs outweigh the quality of work you do? I am having a challenging time explaining this but what I mean is who you work for and what you work on? Like the task itself is important because it is my trained skill. But what I mean is the company you keep. Like what if I worked with an organization or team that helps the same values as me? I would find more joy and self-fulfillment. Just something that has been on my mind as I moved into working for a company that claims it does good things (like my current job does) but it really does not align with what I consider good.  

With all this weighing on my mind and heart, and changes at home being stressful, I am so far off the wagon, and I can see it sitting on my waist. And aside from that I am not fit anymore. Just fat. I have not been able to get back onto the fitness track since I moved to this state 20 years ago. That is a long time. I had a stretch in 2016 that I was doing it!  

What is my point? This makes me laugh because for the BEST of days to get on track and make healthy changes around the 27th of the month! And here it is March 27, and when I finished my lunch, I said enough is enough, and logged my calories so far for the day. Tomorrow I will get back on the scale and today I will start doing step again. I want to get back on track both with my fitness and calorie counting deficit. I am 46, and I will be 47 this year. My health is not great. My state of mind has been dark. I will work to get more focused but also to love myself more. To stand for me and my daughter.  

Life happens. I get it. I just wonder how I will strive to give myself and my daughter better.  

Best life…

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

For the past two years we have toyed with the idea of moving down south. My family ties are up here. Not because they put their foot down but I did because I thought it was for the best, but I am starting to wonder. My last move was because I needed my own space and here, I am again in that same position where we have outgrown because I am a push over and I am again without my own space. I am still resistant of such a massive life changing move. But everything in our lives is remote. And I am 46 years old. My life seems a bit empty and sad. I just wonder if I am living my best life by remaining here. Is it time for that change? It would give us more space. I used to stay here for him and the others. But how is staying improving or making our lives better? Can I afford a house down there? We could have warmer weather and a fence in the yard. New friends or a school?  

I do not know I am still undecided, but it just recently hit me that this is not our best option anymore and I could get assistance to relocate.  

Weeks can roll into years.

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

Maybe it’s the time of year but I just can’t seem to get back on track. I am feeling lazy and horrible. Is it January and February pit? I actually can’t believe its already February! I fell off the wagon and I have floundered around unable to get back on track. I have been completely distracted with finishing school with my daughter, learning REACTJS, and finding a new job. Interviewed for a job last week that I am very interested in and I hope I get an offer and it all pans out for me. I am ready to go. With that said, what can I do to try to get myself back on track? I feel so listless an disinterested in getting back. I know I want to lose 15 more pounds still. I have already gained three back. Okay, this is it! Here I am. I will eat a normal dinner and try my hardest to be healthful and well. Not just throw cheese and butter on stuff with no regard to calories. I had chips at lunch time. An egg and cheese English muffin for breakfast with butter. And its not horrible but for me this is how I drift upwards. I have been reluctant to post because I feel so disinterested. I keep thinking I want to get to the gym or buy a treadmill. What if I just start ONE task at a time. I have been putting everything important off. It started with the covid shutdown and here I am 2 plus years out still not taking care of any of these things.  Okay, so I am going to do this. Tonight I will exercise after dinner. No cocktails. I will have a small dessert that is sugary but does not have flour.

Checking in for me…

/ Rachel H. / Leave a comment

I had a horrible cold and it dragged on for three weeks, it totally threw me off my focused mode of diet and exercise. So here I am, accountable for me and my lack of commitment to me. You fall off the wagon and then from there its “one thing” after another that causes you not to get back on task. First it was very important job interview LAST MONDAY that I had spent a lot of time prepping for. Then over the weekend I had a project to complete and though I did a good a job it was NOT good ENOUGH because it was missing some elements. So here I am feeling bloated and unhealthy. Feeling sad. I want to get back to my diet and exercise and lose the last 15 pounds that are sitting mostly on my waist. I already know the KEY to my success if being accountable for my calories, scale number and my measurements. That is the KEY for me to be successful. I didn’t count calories yet today. But I will exercise! I will get on the scale tomorrow and move forward in this positive direction because this is what I want for myself. No one is perfect.  My health and body is important. Its not about being “skinny” its about being healthy, confident and looking good in my clothes. Here I am – checking in for me!