Last June I dove into weight loss and lost almost 20 pounds. Have of what I had wanted to lose all total. And ever since I have been floundering to get back into fitness and weight loss. The question has floated by me, what if I am done and just do not care enough anymore? But I do care. So here I am. Not post an article berating myself or talking about being on track or getting on track. Ok the last one. The stretch from last September until now has been difficult. With all the covid stuff happening and my work. It has been a challenge for me personally and I am sure MANY others have as well. I will not beat myself up over falling off track or going out to eat a bunch of times last week, but I will do this…
Today I am going to track my food and start getting back on the task. I will take the step. My sports bra is tight around my chest again. I DO NOT want to return to 175 pounds. That was gross. Tomorrow I will weigh it. A friend of mine did the weight watchers thing and swore by it but I have always found that if I track calories and try for a deficit, I am okay. I need to feel hungry at nighttime because that tends to show me, I did the right thing. Another step I would like to take is drinking a lot of water. I know it makes an enormous difference as well.
I have been wanting to work out and either get a treadmill or join a gym. I am embarrassed to go to the gym. I feel so out of shape and fat. The struggle for fitness has been real since I have been in my thirties. I am 46. Making the time for myself since I had my daughter has been a challenge but then every other reason is due to time or stress. So, I am back. Taking it ONE DAY at a time but tracking everything. Because I know that tracking is so important for me. That accountability makes me show up for myself.
In total since I started this journey, I have lost 18 pounds. I have been hung up since October of last year. I am not done or comfortable where I am on the scale. Numbers are not everything, I agree! I am 5’5, and I’d always hear about women who were 5’9 and 117 pounds. Like what? That baffles me, my body just says there is NO way.
When I measured this weekend, my weight was the same as it was last October, so that is GREAT! But with the measurements stopping I also stopped working out. I did not stop walking, but dare I say that I need more than that? So here is the breakdown:
My bust measured at a 1-inch gain…
My chest measured at a 1-inch gain…
My waist stayed the same.
My hips had a 2-inch gain…
Last October I opted to stop doing weekly measurements because I wanted to see a bigger change! I got the bigger change! I have said repeatedly that I need to log on to a regular basis otherwise I cheat myself. I do not think I am getting away with something, I just assume I have time. Also, I do not know what happened that I stopped working out regularly but from a mental standpoint fitness always makes me feel better even if it is small. I am back at pushing myself. And I have learned my lesson and I am officially measuring myself weekly as well as weighing in daily.
Our minds are so fickle, at least mine is. I can be all in and ready to go for months and one thing can change, and I am lost. I am not going to let that happen this time, because I am getting older, and my health is important to me. We had a great holiday, and I am back to work and weight loss! One of the things I struggle to implement is a more intense workout. I have been walking but I feel like I need something more that will build muscle and definition!
Has this ever happened to you where you have a cheat meal, that rolls into a day and next thing you know you forgot you were trying to lose weight? Yes, it has happened to me too. I find that my negative obsession with not being good enough is curbed if I eat healthily on a consistent basis. So today was a good weigh in day but I would hardly say its “weight loss,” since it was my first day back to properly logging calories yesterday. I weighed in today at 155.8 pounds.
Today I will continue with logging calories and trying to stay within my deficit. I will get some exercise; I hope to do step and go for a walk! And I will drink lots of water! Are you with me? Happy 2022.
After a week of indulgence and Christmastide celebrations I am back. Okay, I would not say celebrations but me just eating whatever including chocolate, dessert, and chips I am weighing in at 157 lbs. It amazes me that unhealthy food choice packs the weight on so quickly. This is proof that balance is needed, and these foods are items that should be only eaten on special occasions, not for a week. Go figure, in my head I was feeling totally stressed and like this was acceptable to allow myself to fall off the wagon and just eat whatever. Today I am back to refocusing my efforts. Letting go of the stressful and negative attitude I have been feeling. Time to look ahead to the future and want positivity and love for myself and my family.
For breakfast today I am making a smoothie. It is not low in calories, but it is a wonderful way to refocus my efforts and detox. I have also been contemplating fitness options which will be my next post.
Somehow during the holidays also equates to right now, a few days before, I am surrounded by extra good eats. My plan is just trying to maintain and backing away from weight loss until after Christmas where I plan to go back into weight loss mode. I think that said in order to stick with this I need to be really to still log on my calories! Which I have not because I have that mindset if I am not all in then why bother then I snowball into being all out! So my goal and plan is to be honest with myself and allow myself the Christmas goodies and just being in maintenance mode. I’ll let you know how it’s going! My return weight loss mode is 12/27. For some odd reason 27 and 28 are days that always seem to work well for me in terms of starting anew.
With that said this is not a get out fat free card. My goal is to still eat low calorie eats but allow for that Christmas snack IF it appears. Not to go out and find them. I don’t need extra calories as my body does not use them!
To anyone reading this please have a wonderful holiday whatever you celebrate. Happy New Year! And be kind to yourself.
I am the type of person who stays on track and more focused if I have an see data! Here is what I need to stay focused:
- Daily calorie count (no lies)
- Daily weigh in
- Weekly measurements with photos
I noticed when I started to lose focus was around when I cut back on doing the weekly measurements. Instead of wanted to do them every other week hoping to see more dramatic results. Then it turned into once a month. Then it turned into not at all. Then you have a bad food day and say no I don’t want to see the scale. At least this is me. I know that other people feel like the scale screws them over but it helps me to garner focus to achieve my goals.
Since September I have been slowing fall into the abyss of off the wagon. Please know I am in no way done! I am not giving up myself. What is emotional eating for me? So it’s when I am stressed, no longer counting calories (because thats when I get out of control), and I tend to eat bad foods; and all foods at a faster rate. I eat while I am cooking my meal and after I am done when I am full.
Emotional eating I usually eat faster, as though those calories don’t count as much. And I will eat much more and unmeasured. Today I will focus on slowing down and marking it all down and being back on the wagon. When I am emotional eating I am also not weighing myself. AND I also gave up on fitness because it doesn’t seem worth it. Meanwhile my body aches from lack of activity.
It’s 5:30AM as I write this and I am just starting the day and plan to be on track. I know me, it needs to be all the time and I believe it is sustainable and not difficult. The reason I fell off was losing faith in me; and beating myself up. I have been pretty unhappy about my job and wanting to move on. I have been interviewing and its stressful. Not the interviewing part but the actual moving on. I am not proud of the company I am currently at and what they stand for. I am ready to move forward with a new adventure. And that also means I will probably take a pay and benefit cut. That’s the part that is not easy.
So here I am commiting to today. I will do more for myself. I will not give up on myself. I will treat my body well and pray.
The past two months have been really challenging. I have been trying to stay focused and pray a lot. I don’t see a solution I agree with. I am prepared to leave for less money but I don’t even have an offer that is less money. I am still struggling against it and praying. I am coming to terms with choices I don’t want to make. I will wait till the last second in hopes that it will work out and a miracle will happen. My phone isn’t ringing. There appears to be no hope.
In terms of diet and exercise yesterday I put in my first of 4 days this week that I will workout. Interestingly enough, if I put a number on this when I fall off the wagon it helps me get back on the wagon. Typically I start out here 3 – 4 days of fitness but if I fall off I am usually at that point of 6 to 7 days a week feeling like if I don’t do it then I am nothing. Then it bleeds into weeks and months of doing nothing. Does anyone else experience this? Its how I have gained weight too being depressed thinking later I’ll pay attention to this. And months go by and pounds go up. Its worth it to stay focused even when we are down in the dumps and stressed.
When you need fitness the most (during times of high stress) seems like its the hardest to make that time for yourself. I will do it though because I want to be healthier and feel better.
Yesterday was measurement day. I feel like I have kind of slid to the wayside but I am totally not done! I just spent the last week so sick. I didn’t do much or eat much. I felt compelled to eat junky though but I still counted my calories and remained at a deficit. Overall I did pretty good. I hope to get back to “normal” next week. My cold is still lingering but I am starting to feel better. So on to the good news.
According to my measurements I am down 13.4 pounds, I have 22.4 lbs to go!! I am down 16 13/16 inches overall!!! Down 3 13/16 inches on my bust. Down 3 inches on my chest, and I am down 5 inches on my waist, and I am down 5 inches on my hips!!
Ok how am I fitting into the same size clothing is beyond me!!
I knew I needed to celebrate this because I was seeing so little changes going on. I am really proud of myself. I want to get back to business and hit 150 lbs!!! I am not giving up. Just had some minor set backs.
I was very busy last week. This week is a little less busy in terms of pressure / deadlines but I love creating more work for myself! My daughter does school at home and requires a lot of hand holding. But I am also having vision of transitioning my career over to ux design and leaving web development. So that means studying design. I’d love to tell you I fell off the fitness wagon last week but it was really the week before. I had slowed down and I was hit with a wave of depression. I find it interesting the timing of when it started. I’m not done, and I have no given up. I will get back into the ring and start fighting!!! There is no other choice. My goal is to start getting my daughter involved with daily exercise too.