Anxiety Issues

So to explain more of what I was referencing in my weird rant yesterday. I do this thing where I present myself with a ton of decisions/solutions to solve an existing problem then I cannot make a decision due to being paralyzed with analysis. Today is the day where I need to make the call. It’s a good opportunity doing something that is more creative and hope LESS technical!!! But the reality of starting a new job has set in. That’s the worst.

The pros of staying put:

  • I am remote
  • Paid a lot
  • Great benefits
  • I am familiar with how things work though I don’t love it

The cons of staying put:

  • Company has a strong political leaning
  • Going into cloud dev with the worst of the worst
  • I don’t like what I do
  • I feel in over my head
  • mandates with lack of flexibility in terms of certain things due to the political lean

The pros of moving on:

  • Can submit paperwrok
  • Sounds less technical
  • Closer to home for the non remote days

The cons of moving on:

  • less money
  • less benefits
  • needing to start over
  • the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t

The pay is much less but its more than I made at my last job. It’s that fear of it being HORRIBLE. It’s kind of funny as less pay I equate to being easier but it might not be easier. They talk about collaboration sessions and stakeholders. Not that I can’t do that but I feel like a wet towel. I literally feel that way at my current job like I bring so little to the role. My boss has beem so supportive and great. This has always been an issue for me.

So I’d be working with a senior person so the weight will be on him. He has been there for 8 years. When I mentioned that it sounded like a good company I waited to see their reaction and he flinched a little. That’s funny. But I like that both of them have been there a long time. There was no mention of dealing with egos. I bet there are idiots because there are always idiots. But I bet there aren’t as much annoying people who suck and can’t clarify.

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