Struggling

This is not about diet today! Well I did have a donut for breakfast but that’s ok it was a choice and portioned properly and accounted for. I went to a special bakery with my daughter. Its amazing and one of those every once a great while treats! It was pretty tasty!

This post a little off topic but I guess not really. This past week I have been sick with a terrible cold. I am starting to feel better. And yes I did what the doctor recommended, I got tested for COVID so I could be cataloged into the database.

I was just going to say today isn’t about diet or exercise but it actually could be. So hold onto your hat. For the past few months I knew I wanted to change my job. Actually before the “pandemic” started I just got an offer and I was on way out of the company. I decided to hang tight until things settled down. During that time I realized some things that I wanted to change in terms of my career. I have interviewed at a few companies. More recently I had a great interview where I loved all the people I met with! But the job itself didn’t sound like what I wanted. So I decided to turn down their offer. I probably would have considered it more carefully but I knew I had this interview for a job coming up that was local and sounded more like what I did when I worked at my last company. Not exactly overall but similarities are there. So I actually go the chance to screen with HR and the gal I spoke with was great! She was so nice and informative! Then I got a second meeting with the hiring manager. It went ok, but I felt like they were not prepared and it was awkward. Their lack of prep threw me off. I guess that’s a bad sign overall, and maybe it means its not what I think? I was also sick. The manager kept fumbling and her nervousness made me nervous. Sometimes I think when you are asked to interview with a company you are merely filler. That there is another candidate they have in mind.

What am I getting at? Well I really want the job so I am feeling anxious about it. In that I am circling and obsessing over it. I immediately felt I didn’t do good enough on the interview. And I have emailed them three times since! What a psycho! First was a thank you to the group. The second I emailed the manager because I didn’t ask something about the team I would have liked to know. The third was to the tech guy I’d work with (he was nice), asking about the CMS. I couldn’t understand the word they called it on the call. So I wanted to ask. I had more in-depth questions but I didn’t bother because I feel like I am seeming like a haunt. And I don’t get the vibe that I’d be a top pick. I also don’t know they will be able to gauge well based on their preparation.

So with that you can tell, I am totally obsessing. I need to drop it and move on. If I don’t hear by NEXT Wednesday then I will touch base with HR to ask. I am guessing its a no go though. Also, I need to exercise to help clear my head and heart. This is too much pent up stressing out. There is a team meeting today where I will probably be told I have no choice left.

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