I am a firm believer that we need to look outside ourselves and to appreciate others. Sometimes I may fail while being caught up in my own internal drama but there is truly a balance of caring for others and making time for ourselves. What I have found if I don’t make time for myself I will lay on the couch at the end of the day and make time for myself in a negative and abusive way. Either mindlessly snacking, berating myself for not doing enough, or obsessively scrolling through my phone! While telling myself tomorrow I will diet, tomorrow I will lose weight, tomorrow I will exercise.

If you are a mom, especially a new mom, you may have this weird guilt or feeling like you can’t take that time for yourself because you don’t want to leave your baby (ya that was me). I spent the first 5 years feeling like this. Its a combination of my poor kid was in daycare for most of her day while I was at work, how could I take extra time at the end of the day to workout. And after she went to sleep I needed to go to bed too, because she was always up at night. I don’t agree with system of putting your children in daycare. I loved my job (but I stayed due to financial reasons) but the truth is, your child is with them more than they are with you. If I had to do it over again I’d do a lot differently.

Any, I got sidetracked my daughter is now 12, and somewhat self sufficient. I work from home full time and she is going to school virtually full time. We walk through her studies everyday and I am beyond proud of how far she has come. There are days…. Anyway the point is that I don’t care how I do it, but I find time for fitness now. I am lucky to be a remote worker (I don’t have a commute), I’d say sitting with her 2-5 hours a day makes up for that. I don’t mind though, I feel like this happened for a reason and I will do my best for her. Again off on another tangent.

I’ve realized that I always show up for myself but if I don’t choose to do it in a positive way, then at the end of the day the version that shows up for myself is the negative and mean version. I want better for myself and my daughter and I happy to say that I have been showing up everyday for the past 45 days and I plan to continue this. Not until I lose weight but for the rest of my life. I feel like I did when I quit smoking when I was 21. I realized I wanted to know what it was like to live as an adult not chained to cigarettes. And here I have 25 years later smoke free.